I am SCARED to DEATH

of my kids getting older!
Over the last few weeks Blake who is almost 11 has been asking lots of questions about things I am not ready to discuss with him and has been showing signs of "getting older". He has been using words like mom (instead of mommy), hooker (when I asked him what a hooker was he said "prostitute" but thankfully couldn't explain what a prostitute is, and I didn't offer to expalin), and almost said bad a** yesterday. It is freaking me out! He was fixing up his MySpace (which I am very leery about him having anyway) and when I checked it there was a picture of a woman barely clothed and I almost flipped. I didn't make that big of a deal about it out loud, but my stomach was in knots!! (He must have been in my head because the half naked lady is gone now) I knew that eventually he would begin showing interest in girls but at 10??? Shouldn't he still be playing with cars in the dirt????

Chris and I have always been very open with Blake about adult things to an extent and I feel confident that he will come to us when and if he has questions about adult situations such as sex or drugs. But I have learned that in this day and age kids usually turn to their friends for answers which are 99% of the time wrong. I know Blake is a good kid and will make right choices but I just wonder if as parents we are doing enough to protect our children.

I had a discussion with Blake tonight about sexual predators online since he has really been into MySpace lately. I know all of his passwords and he uses my computer so I can monitor the sites he visits, but is that enough? I told him that he is to talk to NOONE online unless he and I both are positive that it is a family member, kid in his class, or family friend. I let him know how easy is it for someone to pose as a child when they are acutally a 40 year old pervert. He told me that he is careful and that it wouldn't happen to him. That is what scares me. The whole idea of "it happens to other people, but there is no way it could happen to me"

I don't want to scare him, but I want to make sure he is aware of the world we live in. I let him know that I will have full access to his computer usage until his dad and I feel he is old enough and mature enough to know what is right and wrong. He agreed, but I think when he is a little older this will become a problem. I am somewhat over protective of my kids and sometimes people judge me for that, but I will not feel guilty for knowing every move my kids make. I am going to make sure that I can protect them to the best of my ability even if it causes weeky or daily arguments when they are teens.

I want my kids to grow and have their own individualities, but I would also like for them to have our talks and lectures tattooed on their arms and legs. Kind of like a study guide on right and wrong. I am going to have to learn my boundaries as a mother. There is a very thin line. I have faith that Chris and I have the knowlede and tools to be the best parents that we can be, even though it only gets tougher from here.